I brush my teeth. Sort of. With minimal water of course. My mouth is so dry the toothpaste just kind of adheres to the inside walls of my mouth. I end up rinsing some water in there just to get it out. I sooo wanted to swallow that water. But no, I'll spit it out in the name of smaller hips.
I pack the things I'll need for the show: satin robe (some people have been roaming around the hotels in their robes since last night. I'm not sure at what point I will put mine on, but not yet). 5" heels. Cameras. Phone. My 8x10 "before" pictures - I have a plan for those. Food. Ohhhhh the thought of choking down more dry chicken with no water is making me sicker than the hunger I feel. I'll bring it, but I don't think I can eat it.
I say goodbye to hubs and hop the shuttle to the resort. I'm the only person on the shuttle and the driver and I have a nice conversation about the competition details and she wishes me luck. She has no idea how much I need it today!!
I was way early for my hair and makeup appointment. So I hang out in the lobby and listen to my iPod and try to relax. About ten 'til 8 I go to find the room I'm supposed to go to. Woops. I don't know where I am going. The elevators to my team's rooms apparently aren't the same. Now I'm frantic. I find the concierge and he smirks and tells me to look across the way at the other half of the hotel across the courtyard. Yeah, yeah, ok, I get it. I'd be kind of miffed if I could muster up the energy. But I can't so I limp away toward the elevator I'm supposed to be on. I get up to the room and my hair and make-up artist Meredith informs me she's running a few minutes behind. I hear a "hello!" coming from the bathroom, I look in at it's Shannon! A girl I met in posing class. Yay! A familiar and friendly face. We catch up on competition prep. Turns out she's doing Figure (she practiced bikini with me months ago in posing class). She's done a show before and so feels ready for today. She saw me back in my first posing class, all 29% body fat of me, and couldn't believe my transformation. All the conversation and friendly vibes were making me feel so much better. Friends are good. I peer one last time into my lunch bag and decide me and chicken are officially breaking up. For now.
I take an "after makeup" picture of Shannon and we wish each other well. I, in similar fashion have Meredith, my makeover guru take a before makeup picture of me. Let's see what a competition makeover looks like! She does my makeup, commenting how she feels so sorry for us girls with our completely dried out lips because we are so dehydrated. We talk about my transformation and Meredith is so supportive and excited about it! She says she is going to come out and watch me compete and cheer me on. Yay! More friends to love on me while I'm strung out. This is making me feel very happy. Meredith's sister Marina comes in and she starts working on my hair and we are all excitedly chatting about the day's events and how it will go for them, doing hair and makeup and then joining Joe Pesci downstairs to tan ladies all day long. They told me they would happily reapply makeup and help me get properly gussied up for the show all day long and to just come find them. Ah, I love a good connection! These girls are my peeps!! It takes exactly an hour to do hair and makeup. Here is a before and after of my competition makeover:
So now I'm rushing immediately downstairs to the competitor meeting. I am analytical and need every piece of information I can get. Wow, I can't believe it's 45 minutes until the day round starts. Thank goodness for distractions!!
I run into my team in the hotel lobby and we all go to the meeting together. I run into the girl from high school and we give each other some encouraging words and move along with our respective teams. The meeting is basically asking the bikini girls to not be lude and crude and to keep it "for the family". Then they go through a bodybuilding posing routine to show what's expected. They mention that last year's event had 140 competitors and this years it's around 220! They mention future competitions and who should be getting tan touch-ups when. And then we are dismissed.
My team finds an area in the "pump area" to put our stuff and station ourselves. The figure girls will go on first. I head to spray tan to fix the debacle my tan has become. I've become blotchy and realized my toes never got tanned last night. They completely respray me. I also had them apply "bikini byte" a rolling glue stick that keeps the bikini where it should be. Apparently it's a show essential. I had them glue me wherever they could possibly glue. Whew. One less thing to worry about. That sucker ain't movin'.
Now I finally don the robe. I'm looking around watching my teammates "pump". The trainers have them lifting weights strategically to make their muscles pop. It's amazing to watch the definition articulate in their arms as they do it. Wow! Wow! Wow! I'm watching ladies in five inch heels drop and do army-style pushups. It's crazy. It's fun. It's a completely different world. Then, in disbelief, I watch my teammates eat chocolate covered raisins, offered by the trainers to raise their blood sugar and energy right before going on stage. Nice! I get to have some and at first it's like the most delicious thing ever. But then, my dehydration trumps the chocolate (I didn't know anything could trump chocolate??). My mouth gets all drawn and I'm instantly nauseated. Not. Feeling. Well. I tell my trainers and I get to have like an ounce of water. I swish it in my mouth really good before swallowing it because I am treasuring it. Make it last! I told them I'm too sick to eat my chicken and they said it's fine at this point to not eat. So now we wait. I go out onto the floor with my trainer to watch my teammates compete in their classes. Amanda's class was huge. I guess they are typically 8-ish competitors. She had 18! She did really well and I was so proud of her. We've all come such a long way and everyone just looks so good up there. I spot where my family is sitting. They don't see me but now I know where I might spot them.
I head backstage and finally it's my turn to lineup. They call my name and I'm walking toward the line and for the first time since yesterday, I finally have the courage to look in a mirror. Hey! Wait a second! I back it up. That's me?!?! I look kind of...well....good! But then I look at my place in line. I am standing next to Robo-Blonde number 1 - a tall, svelte, amazing looking girl that puts the "wow" in boom chicka wow wow and she just so happens to be wearing the very suit I saw at my suit-makers place and said "I want that suit!!" She informed me it was already spoken for and I instantly wanted to somehow find a way to swap it out with Robo-Blonde #1. If I had a carbohydrate left in my body, I'm sure I could take her. Oh well. Come to find out it's her first show too and she's lost about 30 pounds as well, but over a longer period of time. Dangit. Beautiful AND nice? Sheesh. I'm having a hard time doing the girl thing and hating her. The gal behind me is Robo-Blonde #2. She is so hot that she turns boom chicka wow wow into bowmmmm cheeka wow wowwwww. Why do I have to be between the robo-blondes? What's worse is they are on the same team and apparently are in the midst of a she-mance (a bromance for chicks) and so they keep reaching around me to touch hands and look all dramatic and supportively at each other. Put Hallmark on standby, I feel a fitness competition card being written as we speak.
As I'm mentally figuring out how I am going to strategize all this blonde hotness around me and somehow market myself as equally hot on stage, I hear my teammate Anna's name being called. Wait a second. She's not entered in my class. Au contraire. Screw up in the registration and now she's no longer in the Master's class (Ladies over 35 years old) She's now in mine! Now don't get me wrong, Anna has got this freak-of-nature perfect fitness body that makes even the Robo-Blonde's look out of shape. She's amazing. But I know she could probably obliterate her competition in Master's and now she's walking with 20 year olds. I know what she will be thinking. I run out of line to let her know she's being called and alas, Anna is added to my group. We pin our little button numbers on whatever piece of fabric exists to hold up our suit bottoms and I guess with that, we are ready.
Me, the Robo-Blondes and Anna
We line up at the backstage entrance. We can hear the class on stage. The girl I went to high school with is in the class before me so I am cheering her on. I have suddenly decided in my anxiety that the odds of me sporting a camel toe on stage are 50-50 with the size of my suit bottoms and that no amount of bikini byte can remedy this now. I am frantically picking at my crotch backstage and I just don't care what people see or think. Must. Avoid. Camel. Toe. At all costs. I'm sorry if that's rude and gross, but seriously if that were to actually happen out there, it'd be worse. Trust me. Family show, remember?? Okay. Whew. I think the toe issue is at bay. I look to my right and see my trainer in the doorway. Did he just see that? I don't know. I don't think so. He came back to be my Posture Police and tell me to straighten up. Yes! I forgot, but I will. Must look as tall and lean as possible. And with that, they call out our division.
I repeat my prayer for this weekend, which is "Dear Lord, May I shine as bright as this suit, may I not trip in my 5 inch heels, may my spray tan take two sizes off my hips and in all the madness, may I have a little fun! Amen"
I walk out, back straight, determined not to trip and to look like I belong out there regardless of how I feel. If I look scared out there, I will look awkward and out of place. I must own it. Work it girl!
They call us all out in a line, then have us in 5's come forward and pose, swivel sassily around and pose butt to the crowd (I almost lost footing here but I am the only one who knew that beside the girl behind me that saw my startled face and locked eyes with me). Swivel back around. Go back into the big line. Then after all the groups of five have been seen they call out three groups of random numbers and this is based on how the judges will probably rank them. First group will probably be the top five. They have them pose and swivel quite a bit as they judge them. These girls are good. I'm trying to keep posing and smiling and working it but I'm kind of watching them too. To see how it's done. Awesome. Second group gets called out. Third group gets called out and my number was one of them. I totally wasn't expecting to get called out at all, so my mind was like "wait! Did they just call my number??" I wanted them to repeat it so I didn't go to the front if they didn't in fact call my number, but I knew that wasn't going to happen so I move forward. I smiled big and locked eyes with the judges, changing up my poses as much as possible. I see the value of posing class now and I had a good one. We retreat off stage and that is day round for me.
Before the competition, one of the trainers told me there would be so many spotlights I wouldn't be able to see the crowd while on stage. Wrong. For some reason, my sister Mindy's face shone like a beacon in the night. She was so radiantly lit up and I could see from her face that I must be fitting into the group and doing okay. No shock, dismay or mortification going on from my family. Whew. She looked really proud of me and that made me smile even bigger.
I pull my sweats on and the trainers inform me we will reconvene at 5:45. I get to go eat. They said I could eat whatever I wanted. Have a hamburger and fries if I want. Just very little water. Huh? I asked them one more time and explained that my dehydrated, starved brain may not have heard them correctly. No, it was correct. Hmmmm...what to eat?
I go to my family's table and their energy was kinetic. They were just competely jacked up and said I looked like I fit right in and I did so good up there. They were buzzing with pride and happiness. EEEEEKKKK! We break to eat and they want to take some pictures, so in a completely untrue to my fashion act, I strip down to my bikini and heels in the casino lobby and we take pictures. My own personal paparazzi and I owned. it. Niiiiice. They kept oohing and ahhing at how lean I looked and I absorbed the praise. I have killed myself to get here and I'm doing it. A goal that is bigger than I could even believe for last Thursday and here I am. How 'bout that?
We go to eat and I get a big fruit plate with cottage cheese. And have a quarter of a turkey sandwich off my Dad's plate. And a sippy of water. Ahhhh, it felt so good to eat! And fruit! Every bit as good as I dreamed. We walked around the casino for awhile. It was only 1-ish, so hubs and I went out to my parents car and we took a nap. I slept hard for a couple of hours and was so glad I did.
I met up with my team again at 5:45. This is starting to feel like a long day. I felt better with some food and rest, but it became apparent that night round was going to take awhile. Each person gets to walk individually and be introduced and parade a couple poses and then they crown winners. I got tanned. Again. Bronzed. Glazed. Again. I have so many layers of colored crud on my you could probably take a putty knife to me and get a solid amount of product off my skin. I did my walk and it went good I think. I don't think I 'nailed it', because I felt like I had to hold back my walk so I didn't shake in the wrong places, which made me unsure about how that was looking to others. But I smiled, posed and did my thang. It was nerve wracking to have the whole stage to myself. When each girl got off stage the rest would cheer for them backstage. I guess I just wasn't expecting such a supportive environment. All in all, I was having a really great time. And I met some really great people. Our winners got crowned and we all retreated to the pump area again.
I got my trusty sweats on again, said goodbye to my team and went and claimed my family. We decided to leave and start heading home. I had another part of somebody's sandwich and started filling my body with water immediately. Water has never tasted so good.
When I got home, as tired as I was, I knew I needed to march right into the shower. It was said that this tan could last 10-14 days. Mine seemed to pretty much all wash right off. I'm okay with that. I was sad to see my fake eyelashes come off. I could get used to those. Pretty much, I walked into the shower a rockstar bikini diva and came back out my usual everyday self. Dang.
The next morning, I have to admit, I felt like Cinderella after midnight. Yesterday seemed like a dream. Totally surreal and still slightly unbelievable that I did all that. I'm exhausted today. Right to the core. I put on loungewear, we ran a few errands and I took naps and ate and drank and just vegged all day. I needed to just rest and recoup. The Challenge resumes tomorrow!!
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