Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Fear is a Liar

A week ago, I was in the gym and getting myself set up for a set of Bulgarian split squats.  Nothing out of the ordinary, I have done them many times before.  As I propped up my back leg on the weight bench and held the 25-lb plate in front of my body, my right QL (low back muscle) completely cramped up.  The pain was excruciating.  I was stuck in the most inconvenient position possible in that moment.  I had to do the Harlem Shake just to get my back leg back on the ground.  I stood there in shock.  Am I hurt?  How badly?  OH NO...  I tried to shake it out.  I stretched.  It finally stopped cramping but it felt hurt.  I'm injured.  Blahhhh.  I tried to do some different exercises and finish out my workout, to no avail.

I am a Licensed Massage Therapist.  What I will say is even if I had never worked a day on a client, the knowledge of snarky muscles and what to do with them has well been worth the price of admission to massage school.  I jumped onto an ice bag as quickly as possible and used ice the first 36 hours.  Then I borrowed a TENS unit from a relative and applied that for the next two days off and on.  After that, gentle movements and shifts in posture, testing the boundaries of the pain.  6 days in I went to the Chiropractor and verified I did not actually injure my SI joint or my spine.  He tested my range of motion and stretched out my muscles.  He attempted a gentle adjustment which didn't seem to yield a release in my low back.  We agreed that it appeared to be down to a grumpy psoas muscle at this point. The psoas is a deep abdominal muscle that can refer pain to the low back.  I need to get a massage still from a therapist trained in this type of work, it is a specialty.  But I seemed to be functioning ok overall.

So today I decided I would go to the gym and attempt a workout.  When I planned my day, I decided to try to pick as normal a workout as I would've done before but to try to avoid really activating that muscle as a primary focus.  So I picked a circuit that involved running, plank to push up, and a lot of bi and tri weights.  I did pretty good.  The planking aggravated it the most, but nothing more than just being very aware of the muscle.  I also attempted the stepmill for 45 minutes with success.

The workout went as well as possible.  And I am so glad I went.  Here is what I didn't anticipate:

Coming off of a huge weekend two weeks ago at my first figure competition, I had to be really focused to segue into a normal fit lifestyle and not abandon the routine, succumb to binge eating or just eating the wrong foods all the time, maintain an intense fitness program without the intense goal, and love myself through the transition because it can be an odd, isolating one.  So a week in, I'm injured and shouldn't go to the gym.  I had instant anxiety from that.  The gym isn't just a commitment I've made to my body and physical goals, it's my THERAPY.  I work out a lot of emotional and mental topics in my mind as I focus on my next physical move in the gym. I NEED the gym and what it gives me and brings to my day.  I was very uneasy and stressed all week.  I found I wanted to eat all the wrong foods.  Sometimes I did eat something I wouldn't have normally.  It usually made me feel sick.  And bloated.  And even worse about the whole matter.  I was depressed.  And unhappy.  And scared.

So one would think, once I "cleared" myself to go to the gym, I would've been chomping at the bit to get in there, right?  NO.  I was TERRIFIED.  I put it off for a couple of hours before I finally had to make the decision or my day would get away from me and the opportunity to go would pass.  I had to reason with myself...the very thing I was anxious about by NOT being able to go to the gym: losing fitness level, backsliding physical progress, weight gain, softer physique, losing my momentum and mojo to keep up the pace daily....were the very reasons I needed to go to the gym today.  One week will not destroy everything I've done for the past 4 months.  But making daily decisions to not support the workouts and the nutrition that got me to this point would absolutely start to add up now.   Today presented an interesting turning point: if I decided not to workout today, it wasn't because I couldn't.  It was because I simply chose not to...

So I went to the gym.  I felt like I hadn't been there in years.  I felt a lack of confidence as I really wasn't sure what my body could accomplish today.  I desperately hoped I was not going to discover that my injury was going to take much, much longer to heal.  I did what I did when I was prepping for my competition...just looked at my exercise log and start doing the exercises and filling it out.  One. Step. At. A. Time.  Just focus on the next step, Melissa.  Next rep.  Next set.

I got through my workout.  And I will go back tomorrow and get back into the swing of things.  Working out this morning has already lined out my nutrition today accordingly.  I'm on track with my water intake.  And I've been more productive with my work.  Because I FEEL better.  It's amazing as steadfast as I am in where I want to be and so sure of all the activities I subscribe to to get me to my goals each day, that a wrinkle in the routine could cause such a wave of uncertainty and fear. And that those fears lead to self sabotage that would take me an entirely opposite direction from where I know I want to be.  And that I would give an ounce of energy to listen to those fears.  It's a sign that there are elements of the "old" me in there.   The one that is scared to succeed because she fears she can't handle the feelings, opportunities, responsibilities that come with success.  The one that feels maybe she doesn't deserve it.  Or can't keep it.  The one that finds it easier to agree with the critics sometimes than to keep fighting for what she knows is right for her.  I have to remember that may always be an audible  voice in my head, a feeling that I have, and there is a library of fears that may surface any old time, in any old place, without warning.  And I am deciding, right here and now, to hold that girl's hand and walk with her into the unknown of success.  Because she deserves to be on the other side of fear, where life is truly lived.

Count your wins today, be grateful for the lessons that you learned, and decide to take the next step for yourself.  You are worth it.

In health,
Melissa

Sunday, February 17, 2013

90 Days 'Til Showtime

I am on pace to be losing 1% body fat a week.  Lost 1% last week.



My workouts just changed up.  I now do 40 REPS of various exercises. So, I lift with the purpose of failing around 15, immediately drop the weight and keep at it until 40 reps are done.  This is an exhausting way to lift and yet I kind of like it.  It's nice to mix it up.  Also, I feel the definition that is happening each day mixed with the leaning down is CRAZY!  My shoulders and arms are getting way more defined.

I have 4 different workouts all with different exercises included.  I do my weight circuit 5 times a week and cardio 5 times as well.  Most days I do not have the time to do a second workout, so I add a fast 2 mile run to the end of my first workout.  That is torture.  I'm exhausted by the time I get on the treadmill.  Oh to be a fly on the wall of my mind during those two miles.

Food is pretty cool:

Breakfast: 3 eggs, 1/2 cup oatmeal, 1/2 cup berries  NOM NOM NOMMMM!
Snack: Double ViSalus Shake in water and ice
Lunch: 3 eggs & 1/2 cup rice
Snack: See snack above.  Yes.  The same thing.
Dinner: 4 oz turkey/chicken/white fish and 1-2 cups green vegetables

I get very hungry so when I'm starving I usually drink a Neuro with a Vi Trim to curb the hunger.  That plus dedicatedly drinking a gallon of water a day is usually enough volume to keep hunger controllable.

I love eating clean because all my stomach problems go completely away and I feel really even tempered.  My clothes fit better which causes me to feel better about myself and I know that I look fit, regardless of where I am with my stage goal which allows me to feel comfortable and confident.  I feel well.  Fit.  Healthy. Content.  Prep on!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

To Cleanse or Not To Cleanse?

3 Day Juice Cleanse

I've never done a "cleanse" before.  I'm not sure how much I believe in them.  But I found myself needing a real reset button dietetically and thought it might not be a bad thing to try out. 

I ate what I wanted through the last few days leading up to Christmas. And I've never felt worse!  Lots of restaurant food, lots of carbs, lots of sugars, and just things I don't regularly eat in general.  I felt sickly, my stomach felt on the verge of upset, I was moody and I felt FAT.  Bluh.

I'm embarking on a four and a half month contest prep (the initial phase is just a general lean down prior to the real leaning phase). 

I researched cleanses online.  There are all kinds of them.  I don't really feel like drinking a peppered lemonade wonder juice as that doesn't seem quite right.  I settled on a juice cleanse.  One laden with fruit/vegetable juices.  This is the guideline I am using, which explains a lot about cleansing. 

http://naturalhc.com/docs/juicecleanseoutline.pdf


To find juices, I'm using the book "Total Juicing" by Elaine LaLanne.  I selected five juices to get me through each of my five meals for three days.  My selections:

The Green Drink
2 green apples, 4 stalks celery, 8 stalks bok choy, 1/4 pound spinach, 1 bunch parsley



Sunrise
2 sweet apples, 4 large carrots, 1 red bell pepper, 4 jicama spears



Broccoli Bush
4 medium carrots, 1/2 medium green pepper, 2 stalks broccoli

The Pepper-Upper
1 green pepper, 1 red pepper, 1 sweet apple, 2 large carrots

Carrot-Fruit Juice
4 large carrots, 2 sweet apples


Notes from Day 1 -

I decided to juice in my Ninja blender and consume the pulp too.  It's been said that you lose nutrients by not
ingesting the pulp.  But what that does is make a very large, very filling juice.  So my Sunrise I ended up
splitting over 3 cups.  The Green Drink ended up fitting perfectly into a tall glass.  I had to add water to all
of them to create a juicy consistency.  I was surprised how much I liked the Green Drink. 

I didn't have enough energy to get through my 3rd weight training circuit without feeling very low energy. 
But I made it.  I stayed pretty satisfied until about 3:00.  Then hunger started to creep in.  About 5:00, a dull
headache set in and it's been there ever since.  Rounding out day 1 feeling de-bloated, happy to feel hungry
and interested to see how I feel at the end of day 3.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Week 1 Diet

Food is one of life's joys.  I'm rediscovering that.

This is my meal plan this week.  I am thoroughly enjoying it.  I do get a smidge hungry at night right before bed, but it makes breakfast all that more delicious in the morning.

Breakfast:
3 eggs
1/2 cup oatmeal
1/2 cup berries

Snack:
Vi Shake
Apple

Lunch:
4 oz salmon
2 cups mixed vegetables

Snack:
Vi Shake
15 baby carrots

Dinner:
4 oz chicken breast
2 cups broccoli

Every day looks the same and my plan will change in a week.  I am in love with this meal plan.  I like everything on it and I don't feel hungry .  I have energy and my sensitive stomach feels perfect and happy on this plan. 

It's roughly 1500 calories with a 40/30/30 split of Protein/Carbs/Fat.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

A Good Old Fashioned Rest Break

For those of you that have followed my journey from 7 Feathers Competition last year to today, then we are probably Facebook friends.  If we are not, please connect with me at
www.facebook.com/themelissamcgarvey

I'm resorting back to my trusty blog because there is a lot more story to tell and my hope is that through my struggles and knowledge gained, I will be able to help someone else out there that is trying to find their way in fitness. 

My most recent journey toward contest prep did not go as planned.  And what I've heard a million times but never really understood what it meant was "you don't know what you don't know".  All I knew is I was heading down a bad road.  My diet kept decreasing, my exercise kept increasing and my body was not responding.  I was starting to feel very unhealthy and recognizing that I wasn't even to the "hard part" of prep and was miserable.  And not getting results.  I ended up pulling myself out of competition to pursue a good, old fashioned rest break.  In the fitness world, often times there tends to be a supplement for everything.  Walk into GNC or a similar store sometime and blurt out an ailment or frustration with your body.  My guess is they have a pill or powder for that.  It's easy to get lost in that world. 

Not to say all supplementation is bad.  After all, I attribute my whole lifestyle change and results to Body by Vi.  So, what am I saying?  I'm saying, everything in moderation.  I could've pilled and powdered my way to stage.  Maybe.  But I would've been band-aiding the real issue, one that could have long term effects on my health. My metabolism wasn't onboard with my plan. 

I'm in love with the fitness world and competition.  Let's face it, I'm not headed to the Olympia any time soon.  But thats doesn't mean I can't enjoy the heck out of this sport at an amateur level.  I want to be healthy because of my association with fitness though.  I am not willing to sacrifice health for a moment on stage. 

Stress can have a lot to do with that.  When the simple science of diet and exercise isn't working, there has to be another explanation.  Hormones.  And that can mean any hormone.  For me, I just came off of the most stressful year of my life, went through another stressful situation in selling my business and recreating my career/life, and was already deep into contest prep when all of that subsided.  Regardless of whether the stress is good or bad, the body at it's most basic level, can't tell the difference.  Stress is stress.  So, my poor body has been through the ringer and I just needed to take a step back and give it a break. 

I took a couple weeks off from the gym and a strict diet.  I missed the gym like crazy, but my body was so exhausted.  I slept like I've never slept before.  Probably a mixture of exhaustion and mild depression about not competing, I wrapped in a blanket most days and did my work from my living room.  It was nice mentally to be able to eat what I wanted, but my body felt horrible from the reintroduction of processed food.  I really do feel my best when I'm eating clean and active at the gym.  The break helped me reset my body and mind and rekindled a joy about my lifestyle once again. 

By missing this competition window, I have to wait until the Spring to compete again locally.  I'm going to do a focused off-season, where I am not abandoning being on a food plan and deliberate exercise plan.  I need to build more in my shoulders, legs and lats to compete well in figure.  My food plan will be strict in the sense it is very clean eating still, but I get a few more carbs and feel very good and energetic on this current plan.

A good off-season weight is about 10 pounds over what my stage weight should be.  I'm told my stage weight should be 120-125, so if that holds true, I'm shooting for 130-135.  Which means I definitely have some weight to lose.  I fluctuate between 145-150 most of the time and was down to 141 in this recent prep but could never seem to bust into the 130's. 

My food and exercise plans will change often right now to keep my body guessing.  By loving on my metabolism this way, my body should be ready to go for another contest prep when it's time.

I will be tracking my workouts, food and results as I journey my way back onto stage, this time as a figure competitor.  Thank you everybody for the kind words, support, high fives and hugs along the way.  It really did help me keep going when i wasn't sure if I could.  xoxo



Friday, December 9, 2011

Vi-Pumpkin Protein Bars

Vi-Pumpkin Protein Bars:

1/2 C xylitol brown sugar blend
1 4-oz. jar baby food applesauce
2 tsp ground cinnamon
1 1/2 tsp ground ginger
1/2 tsp ground clove
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp vanilla extract
4 large egg whites
1 15 oz can raw pumpkin
Mix ingredients well in a bowl and add
2 c oat flour
2 scoops Vi Shape shake mix
1/2 cup almond milk
(optional) 1/2 c chopped walnuts

Preheat oven to 350
Spray 9x13 pan with non-stickk spray
spread batter into dish and bake for 30 min
Makes 24 squares

Each square has 63 calories, 2.3 g fat, 8g carbs, 4g protein (with walnuts)
47 calories, .7 g fat, 8 g carbs, 3.7 g protein (without walnuts)

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Crossfit Review

Crossfit is a major fitness buzzword right now.  What I knew about Crossfit is that it's popular, it's hardcore (ie rope climbing, pull ups, etc.), it's done in a big gym/garage/box setting, people love it, and I wanted to try it. 

I did an internet search for Crossfit's in Salem and there are a couple.  I went to Crossfit Salem's website http://www.crossfitsalem.net/ and saw they have free classes on the weekends and that those classes are best for newbies because they go over basic movements, etc.   Perfect.

I showed up and the group was already warming up...by doing burpees.  Burpees as a warm-up?  Hello.  The group stood in a big circle, each person said their name and then a burpee would ensue.  15 people in the class.  15 burpees.  The fitness level of the group at first glance seemed to really range as some people were already struggling with the warm-up.  I was surprised that my burpees went very easily as I haven't done them in a month or so.




Andy, the Owner and group leader for today informed us there would be two workouts.  We would pair up in teams of two and complete the following WOD (Workout of the Day):

8 minutes of taking turns going down the length of the gym and back doing:
1.  bear crawl (on hands and feet)
2.  Lunges
3.  Squat Jumps

Sounds straightforward enough until he throws in there "and by the way, when you come 'back' you are moving backwards".  What?!  Just as I suspected, the human body is not designed to move so agilely backwards.  Weird.  And hard. 

At the end of the 8 minutes, each team went to the white board and put how many times we went through this circuit.  The environment is gently competitive, but also very supportive, with random people cheering you on by name. 

The second half of the workout was also done in teams of 2, but we had to partner up with a new person.  I hate that.  I always flash back to picking teams in gym class, and because I'm not very aggressive at claiming somebody, often times, I end up in a musical chairs scenario and end up with the last person who is roaming the area like a lost puppy looking for a partner.  Same happened today.  But my partners were extremely nice and supportive and I don't know what the heck I'm doing here so I didn't really care.  The workouts we are doing turn out to not depend on your teammates abilities only except for where your total time completing the workout is concerned.  Because during this workout, we will workout until the last team finishes.

Second circuit:
Sprint 200 meters (outside in the parking lot) with a medicine ball - my partner brought a 15 pounder.  Each person does this three times. 
100 ground-to-overheads which is a squat with a medicine ball in your hand and then you "clean and press" the medicine ball overhead.  100 has to be completed between the two teammates, so we can split it up however we want.  My partner and I hand off every 10, but I'm going much faster than her so we split the last 15 to allow her to rest a smidge longer. 
Then we run to rowing machines and row 200 meters 3 times each person.  Oh, but by the way, you only get to use one hand to row.  Awkward and hard! 
After that, we grab jumpropes and do "double unders" as fast and as many as we can until the last team is done.  I cannot do double unders.  Need to practice.  So I jump singly hard and fast til we are done.  My teammate states that lots of people can't and you divide the number of single jumps by 4 to get the equivalent in double-unders.  Good to know.  For next time, since I didn't bother counting.

The workout was tough, no doubt about it.  I don't know why but I barreled through that workout.  The training I have done with my trainer at Platinum in Keizer has definitely more than prepared me for Crossfit.  As I was sprinting along with my medicine ball, passing people left and right, I was thinking "medicine ball, schmedicine ball.  Try running stairs with a 20 pound vest on with dumbbells in your hands AFTER a leg workout, people!" 

I was informed that the weekend workouts are not as rigorous as the weekday ones.  So I will come back and try the weekday one as well, just to get a true taste of Crossfit.  What I will say is I will definitely be back for a weekend workout there.  It's more than I would've done to myself on a Saturday morning, and that is the whole point, isn't it?